Parents are the primary educators of their children. It is important for parents to understand their own feelings about sexuality before answering the questions of their children. Parents play an important part and should be knowledgeable and comfortable when discussing sex and sexual abuse with children. If the parent is uncomfortable they should access help from a trained counselor, pediatrician, rape crisis center, etc.

Tips

It is important to use words that are appropriate to your child’s level of understanding. Attempting to teach them will be ineffective if you are using words beyond their ability to understand.

Teach your children about the different types of touch. Teach them the differences between safe, unsafe, and confusing touches. A safe touch might be a hug from you or someone they trust. An unsafe touch could be any touch that makes them feel scared or hurts. Tickling is a good example of confusing touch. Use examples like “You may like to be tickled, Johnny, but I do not. A tickle might be a confusing touch to a person who does not like to be tickled.”

Remind them that they should say “no” to unsafe touches or requests that make them feel uncomfortable, even from a close relative or friend.

They also need to know to trust their feelings about these touches. Let them know that they should act on their feeling of what is a good touch and what is a bad touch. A good example to use may be butterflies in his/her stomach signaling a confusing touch.

They should know that they have the right to act assertively on their feelings. Let them know that they can say things like “No, don’t do that” or “My mother doesn’t let me do that”.

Teach them to respect themselves and others.